Miles is one year from being grown

well maybe not Grown .. but off the child support books and just in my pockets while he finds his way. That's right the kid that was my first born turns 17 on Oct 6th ..WOW

For all the parents that have been trying to hold on to being hip and young you know what I mean by saying this is a wake up call to my being a real adult ... my baby ain't a baby no more

Facebook has made it where Blogging is too much...

The world is always about the quick fix .. I believe that soon Tweeting will be too much . Truth is we like our food super sized but our information minute and to the damn point . Not Saying that I'm about to shut the blog down ...
Truth be told I like sititng in front of this computer and allowing all the things that come to mind pour out ya dig !
So for those that take the time to check in and see just what I'm up to fear not there will be verbage from me until the air in my body ceases or this MacBook Pro works no more ...
Have a great day ....

When I was 14 I was never this way ... I promise you

The World According to Me has nothing on the Universe that my 14 year old step son inhabits... trust !!!

Of course you can't expect them to be adult and make grown decisions but when a over 6 foot teenager continues to make immature irrational choices you can't help but shake your head .

My blood pressure has never been so high in my life until T entered into my world.

Last week I was downstairs and saw a used condom on the floor ... my former bachelor self panicked thinking what in the hell was going on. Then right after that moment of shock and disbelief I remembered I was married and basking in LORD ordained lust with my wife ( meaning I didn't use condoms ) and after even more investigation I realized this condom wasn't even my size ... " no I didn't pick it up nor tried it on " sickos !!!

I just did what any good man about to be framed by his not so evil stepson would do ... with pencil in hand I lifted the evidence and examined it with a very interested eye ya dig .

Men like to brag about size and I'm not about to do that but this one would have been a snug fit that's all I'm saying ...

After showing him all the evidence and coming up with my own deduction he finally admitted his guilt ... then I had to tell him how messed up it was to put me under the bus ... now the punishment phase hmmmmmmm

there's no way the daddy is smiling

An Indonesian woman has given birth to an 8.7-kilogramme (19.2-pound) baby boy, the heaviest newborn ever recorded in the country, a doctor said. The baby boy is pictured here next to a baby of average size at a hospital in Medan, North Sumatra

Ladies I know this ginormous bundle of joy would be the apple of your eye but believe me if you have a 19 pound baby naturally you can call your relationship a wrap.. unless your man is Lexington Steele or your doctor does plastic surgery and does a stitch job for the ages ya dig.

the definition of dumbshit !!!

If you were about to be wed and you saw Kanye walk in da building would you
A. Go about your business and try to get through the ceremony without interruption
or
B. Smack the shhhh outta him before he does some dumb stuff

Me I would havee to wrestle little little rascal right the hell up out of the spot ya dig ..... I'm still feeling bad for Po Lil Taylor Swift ... Kanye's behavior was so bad I think there should be a national movement to replace the word NIGGER with Kanye in all dictionaries .... if not all dictionaries it Kanye should be in Thersarus as a synonym .

you know like

If that kanye don't give me that money he owe me I'm gonna whup his ass .
or better yet
Kanye's be messing up stuff for regualr black people soon as the club open Kanye's come in and shoot the place up.

What ya'll think ?

The Monkees meet Charlene

I was very happy when my children met my wife .. they have been subjected to way too many girlfriends in my past.

When they took a super hero picture with Charlene I knew she had been considered a super friend ....


now if we can just get The Monkees and my Arch Enemy Lex Luthor ( Terrell) to get along next summer will be great when they are all under one roof !!!

Sometimes I get nervous ....

when I walk in to the room and my lovely bride is sippin a martini and watching the Oxygen Channel ..... especially since she is a good Christian and her favorite show is Snapped . Now don't get me wrong I'm not questioning her having a taste of vodka every once and a while but when you are typsy and watching a show about mad women who went to far .. what the hell are you saying ya dig ?


Well I'm off to bed ...wondering if behind that beautiful smile and bright eyes lies the heart and mind of a killer .... hmmmmmmm


sleeping with one eye open!!!

Diagnosis

I've come to believe that this labeling teenagers as having ADD or ADH is just really sugar coating the fact your kid is an asshole that doesn't want to remember shit . I recall being a teenager that wished someone would have diagnosed me with such a condition so that my overly aggressive and authoritative parents would pity me for my " illness" .

I'm so tired of being in the midst of this forgetful genius that lives underneath my roof under immunity from my wrath because his mom thinks I should have empathy.

Is it just me that lives with one of these afflicted know it alls that can't remember shit you tell them but can recall what they want to ?

Of course I will look forward to your comments

Sept 11th I'm dropping the bomb

like the Taliban I'm wrecking shhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sept 11th make sure to set your dvr to Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand Up .... yours truly that would be me will be appearing

Terrell, Welcome to the rest of your life ...

Of course this weekend is closing down on my new family's summer vacation. I'm busy doing double duty as stepfather/newlywed husband and drill sergeant here at the crib.

From my last post you you will find that I have been forced to come up with new ways to get Terrell's full attention. I have made each day a day of edutainment in my home.
Of course I had him watched Baby Boy ... just so he knew his place ya dig and the consequences of what could be the outcome if he crossed me .
But the movie of the week , that's right I made him watch it three times was ....


Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'm Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor, from now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?
[recruits answers: Sir. Yes Sir!]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!
[recruits repeats with a louder tone]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?



Of course Terrell's wishes he never left the green trees and gray skies of Seattle cause he was surrounded by his loving female family members that tit fed him praise for stuff he is supposed to do. I'm sure that he feels he has been dropped off at Parris Island .. truth is Parris Island would be like King's Island in comparison to what I have him going through ...in other words he isn't amused.

Here at Camp Fuck What You Are Going Through we don't reward behavior that is necessary ... but we damn sure do punish for behavior a 14 year old has no business considering displaying and he doesn't have a pot to piss in.
So far the kid has done over 350 push ups over the weekend . You would be happy to know he isn't talking back nor rolling his eyes anymore when I instruct him to carry out a task ... his arms and chest can't afford it!